Agent
by ReverseEND
Summary: AU. Mello is a mafia boss, and Matt is an agent sent to collect information on the mafia and their current operations. Complications come in, and Matt starts feeling like Mello is more than he leads on to be. Worst of all, Matt and Mello fall for each other, but can a relationship form between a cop and a mafia boss? Switching between Matt and Mello POV.
1. Integration

Chapter 1: Integration

**Mello POV**

My men are all useless imbeciles. I was ready to kill them all just to calm my anger and frustration with them, but I sadly still required them to do their jobs. Maybe I'll kill them when I find replacements.

So, with murdering out of the question (for now), and chocolate starting to lose its appeal (also temporary), I decided to resort to my other calming methods—namely, sex. I left the base and my useless underlings to wallow in fearful shame, slamming the door for good measure.

I rode my motorbike into town and stopped at one of my favourite clubs, _Luster_. Not only are the people and drinks in the clubs desirable, but even the _name_ of the club implies sex. "Lust", concealed in a falsified glory, encased in a shiny case we fool others to believe "love" is in. In other words, _one night stand_.

Ordering a drink, I planted myself on one of the many stools around the circular bar, striking a seductive, but composed position. I could get any guy or girl (I don't care either way, as long as they're a good fuck) I wanted in my bed, but it's more fun when they chase me, especially if it's a guy. They usually expect me to take bottom just because they made the first move, but no, no, no, that's not how I roll. And seeing the slow realization dawn on them is just too funny.

Not long after, a cute redhead sat down on the bar stool next to me.

**Matt POV**

I've been fruitlessly camping out at this bar for days. I guess I shouldn't complain, since my colleagues were working their butts off while I chilled at a bar, sipping drinks. But my job so far hasn't exactly been easy either. Stupid, slutty girls waved their body parts around me, and some gay guys made bolder moves, like _groping_ where they have absolutely _zero_ right to be touching. I've been told I'm attractive, but I don't think I'm _that_ attractive. Maybe their alcohol intake was screwing with their views on aesthetics.

Anyways, tonight, I finally found one of the people I've been camping out for. A man who goes by the alias "Mello", one of the mafia bosses in this district.

Alrighty, time to get down to business. I made my way over to him, acting casual, and took the seat beside him.

"Hey, can I buy you a drink?" I purred (or I tried, anyways), giving him my most seductive eyes and attitude.

He snickered, and leaned back onto the bar. "What am I, a girl?" Well, my approach went well. What am I supposed to say now? Thanks, chief, put the socially awkward one in charge of seduction and getting information…_That_ was a brilliant idea.

"What, I can't buy a sexy _guy_ a drink?" I managed to reply, hoping that flattery worked on people like him.

"No, but I think I have a cocktail _you_ might be interested in drinking," Mello smirked, and I knew full well that he didn't mean alcohol. I prayed inwardly that this wouldn't end in anything inappropriate…Wouldn't _that_ make an interesting report to write to my chief?

I attempted to keep a cool front, and not allow any seams around my identity to unravel. One wrong move and I could end up dead. "I think I'd prefer a cup of warm milk," I simpered suggestively back at him.

The man gave another evil smirk and took a large sip of his drink. Then, without warning, he crashed his lips to mine, and the bitter fluid flowed into my mouth. Vodka, by the taste of it. Really, really strong vodka. I was glad that my alcohol tolerance was decent, or else I wasn't going to be in a conscious enough state to gather any information from this guy.

I barely had the time to swallow the mouthful of vodka before he shoved his tongue into my mouth, pulling me into a wet kiss.

I pulled away, and plastered a fake grin on my face. We continued chatting for a while, exchanging dirty references in a flirty manner, with me slipping in occasional questions about him, his life, his occupation, the likes of it. I managed to pull it off as nonchalant chatting, though I was probably starting to seem borderline prying. Mello surprisingly, but thankfully, didn't notice, probably starting to fall under the influence of the alcohol. I drank less than I led on, choosing the lighter drinks rather than the vodka he seemed fond of.

Eventually, Mello got tired of the idle chit-chat, and dragged me back to what I assumed to be his apartment. It was a good chance for me to look for any clues or evidence of their upcoming drug operation, so I didn't pass the chance up. However, I knew that it'd be difficult, especially since Mello was known to be a rather careful person, and would most likely not leave important things like these in the open. I wasn't even sure if this was his real apartment, to be honest.

Mello never gave me the chance to scout his apartment. The moment we stepped in the door, he slammed me against a wall, sucking me into a deep kiss. I tried to keep it as chaste as possible, but he obviously had other intentions. He pulled me violently into his bedroom and threw me onto his bed.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, _shit_! There was no way out of this now! I struggled against him, saying things like "Oh shit, I have a _really _important meeting tomorrow, let's continue this some other time?" but he was too drunk, or simply didn't care.

He held me down and tore off my clothes, despite me writhing and retaliating. Then I remembered something that made me as good as dead: I had my gun with me. It was in case the situation had turned awry and I needed to protect myself, but it currently only made things worse for me. Unfortunately, Mello noticed it the same time as me, when it fell to the ground in a _thunk_. He stared at it for a brief moment, and when things connected in his brain, he sobered up instantly.

The next thing I knew, I felt a gun rammed against my temple, the safety undone. "Who are you," he questioned in a cold tone that made it sound like a statement more than a question. "Why the _fuck_ do you have a gun?"

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**A/N:** Hey guys, this is my second Mello/Matt AU fic (some of you might have read my first, "Filth")! The chapters will be longer, but the updates will be a little less frequent because I don't have the whole fic written out like I did for "Filth". The plot is also more complicated and there are more conflicts! **Review and tell me what you think so far? **I'd love to hear your thoughts! And also, **reviews = inspiration = faster updates**!


	2. Assimilation

**Warning: Lemon! **If you don't like that kind of stuff, just skip to where the POV switches to Matt, you won't miss anything too too vital!

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Chapter 2: Assimilation

**Mello POV**

I brought the redhead guy back to my apartment, the one I used solely for sexing strangers up. I went straight to business, but he started backing out before we reached the bedroom. Should have thought it out before flirting with me, imbecile; I never stop halfway.

I removed his clothes quickly, and heard something fall out onto the ground. The sound it made caused me to shoot it a glance, and I when I saw what it was, I stopped dead.

It was a gun. A fucken _gun_. This guy didn't try to pick me up coincidentally; it was part of some plan.

I whipped out my own gun and held it against his head, ready to shoot. My apartment was soundproof, for this exact reason (as well as the whole loud sex thing), and getting rid of a body was never a difficult task for me, so whether I shot or not depended on who he was and what his intentions were. If he were from another gang, then he's dead. But if he's a cop…things just might get interesting.

"Who are you," I spat at him, digging the barrel of the gun harder into his skull. "Why the _fuck _ do you have a gun?"

The redhead seemed at loss for words, frozen up with shock. I was about to blow his brains to hell when I noticed the pair of handcuffs sticking out of his boxers. I smirked. So he was a cop. "Well, Mr. Officer, why don't we do some role play then? I don't mind kinkiness," I sneered mockingly, enjoying the growing fear on his face.

"No!" he protested, finally snapping out of his shocked trance. He wriggled even more under me, unconsciously grinding against my crotch. Fuck, I wanted him _now_. I want sex, and I'm going to fucken get sex! I took the handcuffs from his boxer's safekeeping and restrained his hands to the headboard with them.

"A bad boy like you needs punishing," I purred, tearing his underwear off.

"This is rape!" the cop cried, kicking me.

I grabbed a handful of his red locks and tugged hard on them, putting his face inches from mine. "No, this is a lesson on what happens when you stick your nosy ass self into my business," I growled in his face.

I threw him back onto the mattress and followed him down, biting and sucking at his neck. The smaller man struggled against me, protesting. Sick of hearing his voice, I moved my mouth up to his, connecting them in a harsh kiss. I continued kissing him, biting occasionally, as I stripped myself.

My hands found their way all over his chest, insisting on his nipples and grazing his sides. He shuddered from the contact, and tried to get away from me. I decided to punish him for attempting to escape me, pinching his nipples and tweaking the rosy buds slightly. He arched up towards me this time, a strangled cry of both pleasure and pain emitting from his throat. Masochist, huh?

Getting bored of his upper body, I decided to move south. I smirked when I caught sight of his hard dick. Defiant or not, he was turned on by this.

I decided I didn't want to wait any longer, and just get straight to fucking him. I pulled out a cock ring from my bedside table and slipped it onto his erection. He looked at me with wide eyes and pretested weakly with a stuttered "H-hey!", which I dismissed with a smirk. I wanted him to be desperate.

Lining myself up with his tight entrance, I leaned over him, my evil smiled still stretched on my face. "If you thought that I'd prepare you or use lube, you're in for a big surprise," With that said, I buried myself inside him, not stopping until I was in to the hilt. He screamed in pain, trying desperately to get away from me.

"S-stop!" he shouted angrily, tears forming in his eyes.

"Why should I? You wanted to find out more about me, right? I'm just giving you what you want," I said in a cruel, low voice, emphasizing my words with hard thrusts into him.

The redheaded cop fought against his restraints helplessly, screaming profanities and pleading for me to stop. That just made me want to fuck him more, the insolent prier. I continued rocking harshly against him, and after a while, I reached my peak and came in him. He looked like he wanted to too, but the cock ring was too tight around him.

"Want to cum?" I teased.

He nodded frantically, stuttering. "P-please!"

"How about I help you out then?" I snickered when the hopeful look passed his eyes. As if I'd let him off easy. I made my way down to his desperately twitching member and took the tip into my mouth, swirling my tongue into the slit of the head.

The cop moaned and panted desperately. "No, don't! Please, take…take it off!" I ignored him and took his whole member into my mouth, sucking hard and teasing it with my tongue. I bobbed my head up and down onto him and he arched up, trying to get deeper into my mouth.

"T-the ring! Please…" he moaned desperately. I could feel his cock throbbing in my mouth, unable to release. I withdrew from him and shook my head slowly, enjoying the pain written on his face. "Take it off, bastard!" he yelled, dropping the politeness, probably due to its ineffectiveness.

I shoved my dick into his mouth, choking him. "Suck," He didn't comply, biting me. "Suck and I'll take the ring off. _Maybe_," I growled, shoving myself deeper into his mouth.

He did as I said this time, and I moaned in pleasure, despite myself. He was _good_ at this…I wet my thumb with saliva, and teased the head of his still aching manhood, earning another strangled cry from his throat, muffled by my cock. I released into his throat, choking him. I withdrew from his head and he spluttered my cum out, trying his best to get rid of it all. I smirked at him.

"Good boy, I'll award you for a job well done," His eyes lit up, knowing that I meant the ring. Oh, I'll take it off, just after teasing him a bit more. I pushed the ring up with my tongue, tantalizingly slowly, making sure to brush as much of his flesh as possible. His eyes were squeezed shut, but didn't say anything, probably in fear that I'll stop and change my mind.

When it was finally off, he ejaculated in a thick, strong stream, splattering his whole stomach and chest with his own semen, moaning the whole time.

"Now drink it up, like the puppy you are," I scooped the creamy white substance off of his chest and held it above his mouth.

"Fucken bastard! No way in hell am I—" I cut him off by shoving my cum-covered fingers into his mouth. He bit them, and I pulled them out and slapped him. I took the rest of his cum and smeared it over his mouth and pinched his nose. He held still for a while, but he started running out of oxygen soon enough. He finally gulped for air, swallowing all of the semen, choking at the taste of himself.

"That's a good boy," I purred at him, which he replied to with a glare. He was still pretty feisty, for someone in a position like his. Seeing the semen dripping out of his mouth, all over his face, I got hard again.

I flipped him onto his front and impaled him with myself again. His entrance was still tight, but it was now lubricated with his own blood, making it easier. I fucked him roughly, pounding him into the mattress. He screamed from the pain, grasping tightly at the dirtied sheets. I pushed myself deeper into him, and suddenly he let out a loud moan, loosening up. I smirked to myself and hit that spot repeatedly, harder each time, making him scream until his voice was raw. We both came, and he collapsed completely onto the mattress, drained.

"Oh no, I'm not don't with you yet," I muttered and flipped him back over so he was facing me. He looked at me with wide eyes and started protesting, but I turned his complaints into desperate moans and screams as I forced myself into him again.

It was only after I fucked him for a couple more rounds when decided it was time to call it a night. I wasn't the least bit tired (I'm used to going for the whole night, and even into the morning), but I had shit to do the next day, and I needed at least some rest. I rolled over and pulled the soiled blanket around my naked form. I noticed the redhead was shivering in the cold, so I gave him part of the blanket since I was feeling generous.

**Matt POV**

It felt like the Eiffel Tower was just shoved up my ass. I could still feel various bodily substances oozing out, both from Mello and myself. I scowled. Well, I'm not going to cry about it now, since that wouldn't change anything…I might as well make something out of my sacrifice. I sighed quietly, recognizing the fact that he had left me handcuffed to the headboard.

I scanned the room, but found nothing of interest. In fact, there were minimal personal items everywhere. I realized that this was probably his apartment for sex, since it would be stupid to bring strangers home to him real home, where important evidence probably was.

Feeling slightly deflated, I scouted around with my eyes for anything else. I saw his phone on the ground and lit up. I stretched to reach it, having to push away some articles of clothing. Finally, I grasped the small device between my two feet and carefully brought it back up to me.

I inwardly thanked my abilities to use my feet almost as well as my hands. The talent had begun back when I was at my orphanage, and I had broken both of my arms when I was pushed out of a tree. I couldn't stand not being able to play my games, so I learned to play with my feet. It was hard at first, but I slowly mastered it. Afterwards, I worked on the skill for amusement, sometimes playing with two consoles at once, one control in my hands and one in my feet, trying to beat both games. However, I never thought that it would come in handy on the job.

I retrieved another device, this time from my own pile of clothing, and connected it carefully to the cell phone. My device copied the entire contents of the phone, sending it straight back to HQ. Mello shifted beside me on the bed, and I froze. Shit! I was getting ready to knock him out, but he just made a contented sigh and snuggled deeper into the bed. I let out my own sign out of relief. I made sure to erase all telltale signs of tampering with his cell phone and replaced it on the ground under his clothes. After carefully tucking my own device into a safe pocket in my clothes, I curled up under the blanket beside Mello. I tried to get comfortable, but with the handcuffs holding my arms in an awkward position, it was hardly possible. After a while, I managed to drift into an uncomfortable sleep.

**Mello POV**

I woke up the next morning to the clinking sound of metal. Stiffening, I opened my eyes into slits to peek at the source, my hand already making its way to the place I hid my gun. I relaxed when I saw that it was only the redheaded cop pulling on his restraints.

"Having troubles?" I grinned teasingly at him, propping myself up on one elbow. I was in a surprisingly good mood this morning.

"Shut up," he snarled at me, stabbing me with daggers from his eyes. So the good feelings aren't mutual. Being raped and having your arms restrained for the whole night can do that to you, I guess.

I got up from the bed and ran a hand through my blond hair. "Where are the keys? I'll let you go," I said in a tired voice, a slight hangover beginning to hollow my brain. He had already fulfilled his purpose (letting out my anger and sexual frustration on) and there was no point in keeping him here. It wasn't possible for him to have gotten any vital information from me anyways, so there's no harm in releasing him.

"If I had them, I'd be free already," he muttered quietly, ceasing his struggling.

I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach. The sound of my laughing was oddly foreign to my ears; I hadn't laughed genuinely for years. Tears formed in my eyes as I shook from my hyperventilating lungs. "Y-you don't have them?" I managed to choke out. "What kind of cop _are_ you?"

"Shut up!" he spat at me again, probably feeling degraded.

Feigning seriousness and putting on a wicked grin, I turned to look at him. "Well, looks like you're going to have to stay here for a while. I've got some business to attend to. Maybe I'll come back after I'm done and let you go. Or a better idea, maybe I'll come back and fuck you again," I leaned on the edge of the bed and lifted his chin slightly. "Because you make such a nice little boy toy," I purred at him, trying to hold back another bout of laughter as I saw his expression.

"You better fucken let me go!" he screamed, fighting against his bonds harder.

I got up again, and after getting dressed, I went to my desk to get a paper clip. I straightened it and made my way back to my little prisoner.

"What are you going to do with that?" he panicked when he caught sight of the metal wire I was holding. I burst into laughter again. This guy was hilarious!

I then faked another serious face and whispered in a husky, low voice. "I'm going to insert it in your ***** and then **** it and *** and make you ***** and ****," His panic grew as I knelt on the bed beside him, kicking and yelling at me. I ignored him and picked at the handcuffs with the little bit of metal.

The cop looked at me with surprise as I removed him from his bonds. "Thanks…"

"You don't have to be so tense around me, it's not like I _haven't_ done all that to you already," I snickered as his face went red with anger and embarrassment.

"Shut up, bastard, I'm going to sue you for rape!" he snapped, still surprisingly feisty. He pulled on his clothes unexpectedly quickly, picking up his gun and stuffing his handcuffs back into his boxers. Why does he keep them there…?

I shrugged. "Go for it, it's not like I don't have a plethora of lawyers on my side," The redheaded man glared at me and turned to make for the door.

"Hey," I called to him, stopping him briefly to look back at me. "What's your name? You're fun,"

He gave me a suspicious stare before saying slowly, "Matt,"

"I hope we'll meet again, Matt, I like people like you," I smirked at him, and he returned an equally tyrannical smile, probably to say that he wasn't going to lose to me, before departing through the door.

I sat on the edge of my bed in the soundless apartment, reflecting. After a moment, my amusement wore off, and all of the good feelings dissipated along with it. I felt emotional exhaustion kick in, dragging me down like a current. I collapsed back on the bed, letting out a sigh.

I'm losing control.

Last night, I completely lost control of myself. And not just that, I've been noticing it happen a lot recently. I'm changing. Little by little, I'm being eroded away; little by little, I'm being hollowed out. And If I don't find a way to stop it, I'm going to lose myself. I'm really not cut out for this job…

I realized suddenly that I hadn't written for yesterday. I pulled myself off of the still dirtied bed and lowered myself to the ground under it. Removing a floorboard, I pulled out a notebook from underneath it.

I made my way to my desk and got out a pen. Sighing again, I clicked a pen and began writing quickly. After filling a page, I finished up and replaced it back in its hiding place, sprinkling dust strategically over the board to hide the fact that it's been altered.

Finished my secret business, I pulled one of my well-known smirks onto my tired face and left for work.

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**A/N: **This chapter is all over the place (not to mention HUGE)...I don't like it very much, but I don't think I can change it in any way to make it better. Matt needs to hate Mello's guts right now, so that's why things went this way. Also, it's only my second time writing lemon, so forgive me if it's bad!

Also, any guesses as to why Mello writes in a notebook? Hmm, a notebook.


	3. Desperate Measures

Chapter 3: Desperate Measures

**Matt POV**

I was hesitant to make my way back to headquarters. It was going to be nightmare explaining to my chief what happened during the scouting mission last night. Not to mention I had trouble walking, since it felt like my rectum was torn to shreds.

After stopping off at my apartment to clean up and get a change of clothing, I drove to the main office, where I found my team to be anxiously waiting for me.

"Matt, what happened? Why didn't you check in with us? Alex is really pissed o—"

"Matt, come in my office," Alex, the chief of our team, interrupted, a sour expression puckering his face. I nervously stalked into the room and closed the door behind me.

Alex motioned for me to sit down across from him, and I complied.

"Matt, why didn't you check in," His voice was dangerously calm with an edge, as if ready to erupt with any prompt. I swallowed hard and hoped that that prompt wasn't be hidden in anything I was about to say.

"I went with Mello back to his apartment," I explained slowly, straying my glance away from his. Alex didn't speak, which meant I was to continue reporting, to my disappointment. "He…found out that I'm a cop,"

Alex shot up and grasped both of my shoulders with worried hands. "What did he do to you?!"

A light blush dusted my cheeks as the events of last night flashed in my mind, but I shook it off and tried to pull on a reassuring smile. It probably came out as a grimace of some sort. "Nothing, I'm okay,"

"Mail Jeevas, you are to give a truthful report to me about what happened," Alex commanded in a low voice, indicating that he wasn't going to take any shit from me. He even used my real name; this was more than serious.

I repeated my answer, even though I knew that he was going to end up knowing anyways. Alex had always had a good intuition, sort of like a detective's sixth sense, and he was far too persistent to let anything go, especially something as severe as this.

Alex sighed and let go of me, sitting back down in his office chair. "Matt, I'm not only asking you this because I'm your chief; I'm also asking as your friend. Tell me, what happened between you and Mello?" Alex has always been a kind and caring chief towards his team, and he's always treated us as equals rather than underlings. But above that, Alex is my childhood—and best—friend and he always paid special care towards me.

"Mello…Uh…" I couldn't form the words to inform him, and I ended up gaping at him like a fish out of the sea, mouthing unintelligible words.

Realization dawned on Alex soon enough, having put together my troubled walking and the overall analysis of the situation. "Shit, Matt. He…raped you?" In all the years I've known Alex, I've only heard him swear three times. Because of this, I managed to hear the fourth. "Shit, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault! I shouldn't have sent you out to do this, shit," I stared at him in shock, having heard the curses tumbling out of his mouth as if it were the most natural thing possible.

"It's not your fault, Alex. If it wasn't me, it would have just been someone else. I'd rather it be me,"

Alex looked up at me and shook his head. "We're taking you off of this. We're going to get that bastard arrested for rape. We're—"

"Doing nothing," I interrupted him, earning a stunned response from him. "I'm not going to amuse him and play the traumatized victim. I'd rather get the bastard back by foiling his operations and getting him arrested for those. Don't take me off of the team, Alex,"

My best friend gave a submissive smile after a minute and shook his head in disbelief. "Thank god you're the resilient type…I suppose you want me to lie to the higher-ups?"

"If it's not too much trouble for you, Chief Gunn," I grinned at him, and visible relief passed over him, happy that I was really okay. Well, "okay" in the emotional sense anyways; my ass still felt like it was on fire.

Alex turned to the desktop that sat on the corner of his cluttered desk. "Alright, as for the data that you sent us last night from Mello's cell phone. There were some useful bits that give us hints at their current operations...…"

**Mello POV**

Thick curls of smoke made their way up to the ceiling of the room I was in, settling in nicotine-charged clouds. The ribbons of smoke trailed down to fat cigars, stuck in equally fat mouths. Soft flutters of playing cards and _click_ing of poker chips could be made out between loud remarks.

I was at a poker game, those often held between mafia bosses. To be honest, I hated them; both the games and the people I was playing with. It was a type of chivalry to participate in said poker games, and if it weren't for the feeble respect it offered, I wouldn't be sitting here at all. None of the other bosses paid real heed to me; they find me too "juvenile" to face as one of their own, despite the things I've done. And the way they composed themselves as if they were royalty when they were nothing but filthy pigs disgusted me.

Needless to say, I was relieved to be able to be excused by a messenger.

"Boss, we found a rat," the meaty man informed me in a low whisper. Naturally, by "rat", he meant a traitor. I pulled a fake scowl and excused myself from the game, relief bubbling up inside me.

Before I fully made it into the old warehouse, I could hear screams erupting from it. From the rat, most likely. I pulled out my gun and stalked up to the bloodstained concrete floor.

A scattered collection of "Boss," came to greet me from my men, to which I ignored.

"Who's the fucker," I spat in the direction of the bloody, writhing lump on the floor.

One of my men, being the absolute ass-kisser he is, came up to me and filled me in, his eyes glinting with sickening glee, as if I'd reward him for the information or some shit. "He's an undercover cop, Boss,"

My eyes flicked over to him in covered-up shock. This guy's a cop…

I walked over to the dying man and finally got a full view on the situation, which wasn't pretty in the least. There wasn't a morsel of his flesh that wasn't covered in cuts and bruises, and I could see multiple broken bones protruding in painful angles from his crumpled body. He was in a lot of pain.

I lowered myself down closer to the man and lifted his chin up roughly with the barrel of my gun.

"This is what happens to traitors like you," I told him in a cold, calm tone, despite the slight sickness that was settling in my stomach. He's a cop…The good never ended up well. I forced the thought from my head and turned my attention back to the dying agent.

I placed the barrel of my gun between his blood-clotted eyebrows, and he looked up at me through swollen black eyes.

He closed his eyes, accepting his fate, and I set him free with a _BANG!_, followed by the shocking after-silence.

One of the stupider (and probably newer, since anyone with experience with me wouldn't be so brash) of my men piped up in surprise. "Hey! We weren't done tor—" I cut him off with a venomous glare that left him shaking in his boots. I would have happily shut him up with a bullet on any other day, but I was lost in incomplete thoughts at the moment.

I turned on my heels to leave, taking one more brief glance at the crumpled corpse that lied a few feet from where I stood.

He was a cop.

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**A/N:** A filler chapter, just to get things moving along in the right direction. Not much happened, but the things that did have an importance that will be made clear later in the fic.

Also, Alex Gunn is a really minor character, you won't see him much. I just needed someone to be the chief, and none of the DN characters fit what I wanted.

Review please? They make me super happy, and I love to hear your thoughts (good or bad)! (They also inspire faster updates, haha.)


	4. Buffer

Chapter 4: Buffer

**Mello POV**

I cracked open my notebook and pressed it down to crease the pages open. The pages on the left side, already written on, puffed up slightly in that way used pages do; the stark white pages on the right mirrored my empty mind. I sighed again, tapping my pen absentmindedly on my desk. I'm really not in the mood to do this tonight.

A loud melody began playing, causing me to jump the slightest bit. I whipped my cell phone out of my pocket and pressed 'answer'.

"Spit it out," I snapped into the phone.

The voice on the other end gave a small chuckle before replying. "Mello, Mello. If I were you, I wouldn't be so rude to the person who holds your future in their hands,"

Leaning back in my swivel chair, I pulled a smirk onto my face, even though it wasn't possible for the mafia boss at the end of the line to see it. "Rod, don't shit with me. What do you want,"

"I know your secret, Mello,"

I shot up in my seat, despite myself, panic injecting itself into my consciousness. My eyes flickered over to the open notebook lying innocently on the desk. Could he have…? No. There's no way that he could have seen it. I glanced around my vacant apartment briefly and flipped the notebook closed, just to be safe. He's bluffing; there's no way he could know, with or without the note. Nothing I've done could have given it away.

"What the fuck are you talking about," I questioned again, not bothering to raise my voice at the end to make it a proper question, like always.

"Come to this address, and we can negotiate the terms for keeping your little secret," The man hung up before I could answer, and a second later, I received a text with an unfamiliar address on it. I glared at the words on my cell phone screen, deep in thought. This was more than likely a trick to take me down. If Rod's bluffing, there's no problem with not going, but if he actually knew something…

I bit my lip in frustration and got up to return the notebook back into its hiding place. I left the apartment and mounted my motorbike to make my way to the rendezvous.

I revved up to an old warehouse (we seem to frequent these places due to their convenience). My hand withdrew my gun from its holster as I entered the dark building.

"Rod," I called to a dark silhouette deeper into the warehouse.

The shape turned around to face me, a smile distinguishable on his face in the dim light. "Mello, put that gun away; we're civil people," I smirked and raised my gun so the barrel was aimed at his head. I heard little _click_s of safeties undoing all around me. I didn't have to look to confirm the ring of guns that surrounded me. "I wouldn't do that if I were you,"

"I figured that you'd bring your cronies," I lowered my gun again, but kept it in hand. "But know one thing,_ Rod_. I won't hesitate to kill you, no matter how many people you have here. I could have you dead before any of them even _think_ to shoot at me,"

Rod Ross ignored my threat and continued, cutting straight to the chase. "I want all of the casinos you're running right now, plus a cut of your drug deals,"

"Fuck you," I snarled at him. "What's this 'secret' you think you know about me,"

"Scared? Oh Mello, children like you should have stayed out of this business to begin with,"

I clenched my teeth and responded in a calm, emotionless tone. "I'm not a fucken child. Maybe you just find me to be young because you're an old geezer," That remark earned me another gun pointed at my head, from the old geezer himself.

Rod was about to snap something back at me when one of his men came up hurriedly. "Boss, cops are here," He spoke softly, but the absolute dead silence of the warehouse amplified it to a shout.

The mafia boss shot an accusing glare at me, which I dismissed with a "The fuck would I do that. I'm not an idiot, unlike _some_ people,"

"We're out! NOW!" he yelled, turning abruptly to make his way to the back door of the large building.

The front door slammed open with a loud _BANG!_ to reveal a crowd of police (or rather, CID agents, I suppose), guns aimed at us. "Freeze, Police! Drop your weapons! Rod Ross, you're under arrest!" That was the cue for Rod's men to open fire, as they made their way to their escape.

I bolted in the direction I last saw Rod, careful not to get caught in the crossfire. I'm not letting that fucker go without finding out what he knows!

I crept along the metal racks, taking care not to make any harsh movements that would give me away. Peeking around the corner, I caught sight of one of Rod's underlings. I hit him over the head hard with the butt of my gun, and he collapsed, unconscious. I turned the corner and crashed into another person. I tore around instantly, and aimed my gun at them. My eyes caught a shock of red hair, and I relaxed a little, lowering my gun slightly but keeping alert.

"Mathew, nice to see you again," A natural grin of amusement spread across my face.

The cop lowered his own gun hesitantly. "It's Matt. What are you doing here?"

"Business. With Ross," I dismissed airily. "…I'll cooperate with you in his capture, since I'm a good citizen," Whether the cops were here or not didn't mess with my intentions; I could find out what I need to know even if he were caught by the police. They might even help me achieve my goal.

"Good citizen my ass," Matt muttered in response.

I was about to reply when Matt gave a shout and shoved me out of the way. My eyes flew over to him, and saw that he had been shot.

"Matt!"

* * *

**A/N:** CID stands for Criminal Investigation Department, for those of you who didn't know. Anyways, short chapter today, but I've got the next one almost all written up, so I'll update again soon!

This chapter is really just to set up more of the enigma around Mello's "secret", haha. Any guesses?

Review and tell me what you think so far? I'd love to get some feedback on what's good and bad! :)


	5. Not So Secret Secrets

Chapter 5: Not-So-Secret Secrets

**Matt POV**

"Hey, Matt, so what happened that night between you and Mello anyways? Alex won't talk," One of my colleagues, Joey, pulled up a chair and sat next to me, grinning.

"Want to know?" Joey nodded eagerly. I motioned for him to come closer, and I leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Not telling,"

My colleague rolled his eyes and playfully shoved my head.

"Don't be so nosy, you're worse than a paparazzi," I smirked at him, and he responded by sticking his tongue out at me. "Real mature!" Joey replaced his tongue with his middle finger.

Alex walked in just as I was about to whack Joey, and he shook his head with a small smile playing on his lips. "Guys, get serious. We've got an operation,"

Our team gathered around him, and he continued. "We've finally got enough dirt on Rod Ross to put him behind bars for a long, long time. We leave in ten to pick him up; get your gear!"

We arrived at the warehouse we had traced Rod to a short while later. Alex kicked open the door, guns in hand and declared Rod Ross's arrest.

The mafia men opened fire at us, and we retaliated. I shot a couple of men in the legs and arms to disarm them, since we're supposed to refrain from shooting to kill. I personally don't like shooting them dead anyways.

Amidst the crossfire, I saw Rod making his way deeper into the warehouse, most likely to another exit. I made eye contact with Alex and motioned that I was going after Rod. Alex nodded briefly and continued his own business of shooting the other men.

I stalked behind the rusty racks filled with old boxes and miscellaneous items that was conveniently concealing. Now where's Ross…

My back hit something, and I whipped around to face it, ready to shoot. My eyes fell on a certain hated blond, and I scowled inwardly.

"Mathew, nice to see you again," Mello grinned mockingly. I noticed that he had lowered his gun, so I did too, out of reluctant courtesy.

"It's Matt," I corrected. "What are you doing here?" I inquired suspiciously. If he's on Rod Ross's side, I'd have to take care of him before getting to Ross.

"Business. With Ross…I'll cooperate with you in his capture, since I'm a good citizen," I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he mocking me? I couldn't tell if he really intended to help with Ross's capture or not.

"Good citizen my ass," I noticed out of the corner of my eye one of Ross's men. He pointed his gun at us, and I shoved Mello out of the way. I wasn't going to stoop as low as them and let someone die when I could prevent it, even if that 'someone' was someone like Mello.

The bullet impacted with my torso, and I stumbled back with the force. Damn, I was going to have a bruise there for a while.

"Matt!" I heard Mello shout from beside me, and I felt him support me. The gunner prepared to shoot again, but I disarmed him with a bullet before he could pull the trigger. He paused for a moment, unsure what to do, then ran off in another direction.

I turned to see that Mello was regarding me with what looked like genuine worry. "I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, idiot,"

A fleeting look of relief passed his features before disappearing behind another smarmy smirk. "Why'd you pull me out of the way? Don't tell me you fell in love with me?"

"I pulled you away because I don't want you dying before I can personally arrest you, bastard,"

I turned to analyze the situation and scout for more of Ross's men, and suddenly I felt someone's hand on my head. I stiffened, realizing that it was Mello. Was he…_petting_ me?

"Thanks," I heard him whisper in a barely audible voice. I turned around to face him, but he was already gone—along with my handcuffs. That bastard…

**Mello POV**

"Matt!" I shouted before the thought registered in my head. Shit, why the fuck did he take the shot for me? I saw him stumble back, so I supported him from the back.

The redhead raised his arm and shot the other man's gun out of his hands. I marveled at his aim; we were quite a ways apart from the man.

Matt fully steadied himself and glanced at me. "I'm wearing a bulletproof vest, idiot,"

I felt the corners of my mouth pull into another smirk, and I covered my passing worry with another cocky comment. "Why'd you pull me out of the way? Don't tell me you fell in love with me?"

The cop rolled his eyes and responded with an edge to his voice. "I pulled you away because I don't want you dying before I can personally arrest you, bastard,"

I couldn't help the sincere grin that was forming on my face. This guy's either ridiculously pure, or completely naïve and idiotic. Usually when there's a chance for your rapist to die, you'd ensure their death, regardless of the legality of it. But with Matt, he saves them so that he can put them to justice the legal way. In a sense, I admire him and his sense of righteousness.

For some strange reason, I felt inclined to put my hand on his head, sort of like the way that adults sometimes do to children. He's a good kid. "Thanks,"

A quick blur of motion caught my eye, and I turned to discover Rod Ross. Alright, enough of the uncharacteristic sentiments, I need to finish the task at hand. I swiped Matt's handcuffs from his jacket (so he doesn't always put them in his boxers, I see) and quickly made my way to where Rod was.

I crept up behind the man and snapped one side of the handcuff onto his hand and the other onto a metal rack. He turned abruptly and glared at me when recognition befell him.

"Mello! Let me go, you bastard!" He raised his free hand to aim his gun at me, but I batted it away with ease and it skidded a couple feet from where we stood.

"If I were you, I wouldn't be so rude to the person who holds your future in their hands, Rod," His anger grew at my paraphrasing, and it continued to grow at a ratio with my growing amusement.

"How much money do you want?" Rod growled at me reluctantly, his anger forced down.

I shook my head. "I just want to know what you know about me. This 'secret' you claim to know,"

He scrutinized me for a moment before speaking. "That you're a faggot,"

A harsh laugh tumbled out of my mouth, my shoulder shaking slightly. It was a genuine laugh, but it was corrupt and nothing like the laughter I made when I was dealing with the redhead. It shocked me more than a little to realize that the cruel sound came so naturally…Probably even more natural than happy laughter.

"That's it? I'm not gay _or _straight. I believe those are terms used to describe the type of partner one prefers. I, for one, don't have the intention to find a partner, just fucks. Besides, even if I _was_ gay, I wouldn't bother covering it up. That's hardly what I would call a secret…You're a pathetic fool, Ross," Seeing that he was no longer a threat to me, I turned away and began my departure.

"Hey! I told you, now let me go!"

Without looking back, I gave a small wave and called back to him, "Whoops, I don't have the keys. The cops will free you, don't worry,"

Ignoring Rod's curses at me, I left the old warehouse, a hundred pounds of worry lifted off of my chest.

**Matt POV**

"Fucken bastard, how many times is he going to take my handcuffs?" I ran a hand through my auburn hair in frustration. Where did he go…

My thoughts were cut short by an explosive stream of profanities and curses from nearby. I cautiously checked behind the rack to find Rod Ross, to my surprise, handcuffed to the metal rack. Mello kept his word after all, huh.

It seemed like the more I saw of Mello, the more distant I got from uncovering the truth about him. Who is Mello, behind the cocky smirks and asshole actions, and what are his true incentives? I wonder if I'll ever find out.

* * *

**A/N:** Nope, Matt taking the shot for Mello wasn't romantic development, haha. And Mello's secret is still not uncovered!

Maybe leave me a review on your thoughts? I'll love you forever~


	6. Symposiums of Sorts

Chapter 6: Symposiums of Sorts

**Mello POV**

The conference room was, once again, clouded with cigar smoke as I and my fellow mafia bosses gathered to discuss the replacement of Rod Ross. Against the walls, underlings stood in surprisingly orderly lines behind their designated leaders.

The "Big Boss" sat at the end of the table, his hands folded into each other in a mockingly civil way. "BB", as some referred to him as, spoke in a solemn voice that made the silence scream out in silent echoes.

"Rod has contributed his share into our family. His absence is regrettable," he announced in a ceremonial way, not unlike a speech at a funeral. "But we must carry on with business. Who is Rod's successor?"

One of Rod's previous men stepped forward and faced BB. "Jack Neylon was, but he has also been arrested along with Rod Ross," The Big Boss nodded, dismissing the other man.

"Mello," The man set his eyes on me in an unsettling manner.

"Yes,"

"You take care of Rod's properties and appendages. At least until we find a permanent fixture," Havoc raised at the order, and disapproving glares were shot my way as protests cut through the silence. I deflected them with a glower of my own.

"Why Mello? He's the least experienced out of all of us!"

"Not to mention youngest! He's barely of age!"

The Big Boss stood up, slamming his fists onto the table to regain order. Eyeing the members with a steely gaze, he growled in a low voice, "Age is irrelevant. Mello has achieved in seven years what you all took decades to do. He is _more_ than capable of taking over Rod's business. I have decided; this is how things will be for the time being. Dismissed," He straightened himself out and strode through the grand double doors, bringing an end to the meeting.

"Little faggot, he probably fucked his way to his current position," one of the men muttered under his breath, but not quiet enough for me not to hear it. I introduced the barrel of my gun to the back of his head.

"I dare you to say that again," The man stiffened, but turned to look back at me with a fiery expression. He was about to snap something back at me when his boss, Glen Humphreys, put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him back slightly.

"Andrew, Mello is the Big Boss's favourite. You wouldn't want to anger the Boss's lapdog, now would you? He got rid of Rod, he can easily get rid of you too," Glen advised his underling, but his gaze was set on me, mockery dripping from his voice. He was mocking me under the transparent pretense of keeping his mutt at bay…That bastard.

I switched my gun over to face him. "Do you have a fucken death wish? I'd be more than happy to blow your oversized head off,"

His men raised their guns as me, and my own subordinates met their gun barrels with their own. "Don't fuck with me, _Mello_. I can have you dead without lifting a finger. Brats like you need to learn their place," he hissed back at me.

I was about to pull the trigger when—

_BANG!_

The other boss and I spun around to look at the source of the noise. Skyer, another boss, had his gun pointed at the ceiling, right under where there was now a hole. He scrutinized us both disapprovingly. "Leave it. Fighting isn't going to fix anything," The man had a condescending tone in his voice that I despised.

My opponent shot me another sour look before motioning for his men to retreat. "Tch. I have better things to do than play with a child," He turned and stormed through the door, his followers trailing his footsteps like the dogs they were.

I returned my glance to Skyer, to see him examining me. "I don't believe in fighting amongst ourselves, but that doesn't mean I approve of you. Too much has happened since you arrived for it to be a coincidence. To put it plainly, Mello, I don't trust you,"

"I say the feelings are mutual," I flashed him a cocky smirk and turned to leave.

"…Don't get too comfortable, Mello. You aren't staying up there for long,"

I dismissed his underlying threat with an uncommitted "Hm," as I exited.

**Matt POV**

The office at headquarters was vacantly quiet, since the other members of the team were out for lunch. I was slumped over my desk, fiddling with a pen, submerged in deep thought.

Ever since Rod Ross's capture, I haven't been able to keep my mind off of Mello. It annoyed me to the world's end not knowing what his reasoning is. His actions obviously have their precise and planned motives, and most likely sub-motives and maybe even sub-_sub_-motives as well…But what?

"Whoa, the apocalypse must be near; Matt's actually using that brain of his!" a voice interrupted my thoughts, and I didn't have to turn to know it came from Alex. He came over to my desk and leaned over the semi-cubicle wall, a wide smile present.

"Hardy har har. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be having lunch with your girlfriend?"

Alex pulled a chair up and sat down in one swift motion. "Mm, something came up for her. No lunch for you either? You're already so skinny," I gave a small shrug, and after a small pause indicating I wasn't going to elaborate, he continued. "So what's got you all pensive?"

"Mmn," I made a small sound in place of a proper reply and turned back to my pen.

Alex gave a small sigh and turned my chair to face him. I kept my eyes on the writing utensil I was faking interest in. "…Don't tell me you're still thinking about Mello,"

"Mmn,"

"Matt, he's not a good person. His 'help' in Rod's capture was more than likely just for his own gain. I've caught word that he's taken all of Rod's 'businesses' under his wing,"

I turned to meet my friend's gaze, putting down the pen slowly. "I know, I don't think of him as a good person. But don't you feel that there's something…more? He's not just what he leads on to be. You haven't dealt with him on a personal level, Alex, so you wouldn't know. Mello switches between personalities so unpredictably. One second he's an asshole, and the next he's almost…I don't even know. He looked genuinely worried about me when he thought I got shot. I don't understand…I just think there's something more about him than just the mafia, and I want to find out what it is,"

"Matt…" The tone of his voice was tinged with exasperation. "This guy _raped_ you. Please don't get any more involved with him than necessary, okay?"

"Don't worry, Alex, I'll be fine," I smiled dismissively, to which he responded to with another sigh.

"You know you're like a little brother to me, Matt. I don't want anything to happen to you…Mello isn't a good person, and if you get personally involved with him as well as on the job, I'm worried he's going to do worse things to you. He's already hurt you enough,"

"Aww, I feel loved," A wide grin spread itself onto my face, and Alex rolled his eyes. Alex caught on that my avoidance meant that I wasn't giving up on my revenge plans, and let out yet another sigh.

He stood up suddenly and ruffled my hair in an affectionate, but man-I-hate-you-sometimes type of way. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

* * *

**A/N:** A bit of a filler chapter to keep things at a reasonable pace. I had so much trouble writing this because I never know how to write fillers, haha. It's a bit too dialogue-based for my liking, to be honest.

The mafia men think of Mello as a "child", but he's around 26 (so he joined the mafia at 19). It's just that the other mafia bosses are at least 35, so they think he's young. Matt is around 24 or 25. (They're a bit older than normal in this fic.)

Reviews make the world go 'round~ I'd love to hear what you guys like and don't like!


	7. Crisis Averted

Chapter 7: Crisis Averted

**Matt POV**

"Alright, team, we're going to bust Skyer's drug operation," Alex returned from a meeting with our superiors, papers in hand and looking slightly troubled. "Get ready, we leave as soon as possible!"

The other team members voiced their compliance and left for the equipment room. Alex started to make his way after them, but I pulled on his arm to stop him. He regarded me with surprise.

"But isn't Commander Yagami not in today? Who approved the operation?" I had overheard in the hallways less than an hour ago that the Commander couldn't be contacted today, and it wasn't possible for the operation to have gotten the green light without him here. On the other hand, Alex was anything but rash, so he wouldn't go through with things without permission.

Alex shook his head and the words hurriedly spilled from his lips. "He's not in, but the other higher-ups gave their approval and told me to carry out the operation because of its urgency. They said that they'll take responsibility should problems come up. Don't worry, I'm not going about this unauthorized. Now let's go, we don't have much time,"

I took his word and followed his hurried footsteps to the equipment room, though a snippet of worry remained in my mind. Alex himself didn't seem wholly positive about this mission.

We arrived at a more rural area of the city not an hour later, suited up and ready to put cuffs on Skyer and his men and confiscate their "goods". Our team edged towards a small house sheathed in a cluster of tall trees.

I couldn't help but feel a gnawing uneasiness about this whole thing; I felt that there were too many questionable properties about it. For example, Alex had said that the information about Skyer's drug exchange was provided by a criminal, Aiber. But because Aiber has worked with the police on various occasions, and his information has been correct so far, we took his word on it and acted. Also, it happened coincidentally on the day that the Commander was away, making it impossible for us to ask for his opinion on it. There were also some other subtle things that made me unsure about this whole mission, but I hoped that it was just my overly sensitive paranoia acting up. I pushed my negative thoughts aside and tuned back into Alex's brief explanation.

Alex told us our positions and we scattered to surround the building. I crept behind a large tree, my gun at the ready. The surroundings were strangely quiet, and I couldn't help but dig up my suspicions again. There wasn't even movement in the house…Surely Alex can see that, right?

I was about to call Alex on my intercom, when someone restrained me from behind, pulling both of my arms behind my back with one strong hand and clamping the other over my mouth. Shit! I couldn't yell for help in fear of notifying Skyer's men of our existence, but if I don't cry for help, what will happen to me? It was a lose-lose situation, and panic brought my heart to my throat.

"Don't struggle. I won't hurt you unless you fight against me," That voice…Mello! That bastard just couldn't leave me alone, could he? What was he doing here?

My captor brought his hand down from my mouth, understanding that I knew better than to shout for help.

"Mello, what the fuck are you—"

"You need to get out of here. Tell your leader to leave now with your team. There's—"

"Why should I do that? You—" I tried to turn back to face him, but he twisted my arms harder to keep me still, and clamped his free hand over my eyes.

Mello hissed into my ear, his tone growing more and more testy with the passing of seconds. "Fucken listen to me! This is a trap set up by Skyer. Aiber set out the bait for you; Skyer and his men are controlling everything. There are trip wires that will set off explosions once you open the doors or windows. Unless you want to be blown to fucken hell, get your ass out of here, got that?"

"I don't see a reason why I should trust you. How do I know you're not trying to turn us away from getting Skyer?"

Sudden realization dawned on me, informing me that I was _way_ too close to Mello for my liking. His chest was pretty much plastered against my back, and the way he covered my eyes pulled my whole head back, leaving his lips centimeters from my ear. I could feel his every breath brushing and warming the sensitive cartilage. The proximity made me extremely uncomfortable, especially since it was _Mello_. I know that now really wasn't the time to worry about physical space, but feeling his body against mine reminded me of things I never wanted to think about again. My breaths started growing shallow as the memories hit me, and I tensed up until I was stiffer than a brick in his hold. I guess I'm not as passive or unaffected by that as I thought…

Mello's voice brought me back into reality. "Leaving now won't make you lose anything. If you run in there like a fucken idiot, you can all kiss your lives goodbye. It's your choice, do whatever you want," His voice was snappy and unpleasant, and after he spat the words out, he released his grip on me. I twisted around to look at him, but my eyes fell on open space; he was gone already.

Can I trust him? I myself had been suspicious about this, and Mello made a good point, but…Oh fuck it.

"Alex, there's something wrong," I murmured hastily into the headpiece of the intercom.

A quiet crackle preceded his reply. "I was just about to call everyone…I've noticed it too. It's way too quiet," A small _click_ of the intercom came between his response and his next words. "Team, hold back; there's something wrong," A staggered compilation of "Roger that," and "Understood," came through the team intercom.

"What have you noticed, Matt?"

Surveying my surroundings suspiciously, I reported to him. "There're trip wires all around the house that set off explosions. We have to get out of here. This whole thing is a trap set up by Skyer,"

"There's no way you could have seen trip wires from where you are, Matt…Why do you know this?" Oh shit. I don't know what consequences will come up if I told him that it was because of Mello. Would Alex not believe in him? Wait, does that mean _I_ believe in him?

"…Aiber told me," Shit, what was I saying? "He…came here to tell us that he was forced to trick us into this mission…Anyways, we have to get out of here, Alex!" I'm such a horrible liar…No sane person with any amount of intelligence would believe that!

"…Team, draw back. We're going back to headquarters," I could hear uncertainty in his voice, even through the digital distortion of the intercom. I let out a sigh of relief. Possible crisis averted?

I think so. Not a minute after we made our way back to our ride home, the house and its surroundings were engulfed in a red cloud of fire. The sound it emitted left our ears ringing momentarily, and everyone in our team exchanged shocked, grateful glances.

After calling for firefighters, everyone piled into the vehicle, hearts still pounding rapidly at the thought of what would have happened had we not left. I was about to join them when Alex held me back.

"Who told you about this?" The way he looked at me was unsettling; his eyes searched me in a way that held suspicion, though I could tell he didn't want to harbor such thoughts about me.

"Aiber," I made sure not to look him in the eyes.

"Matt…I received a call about Aiber just before you called. They found his body…Tell me the truth," Oh…

I let out a sigh and bit my lip. "…I didn't see who it was, but I'm almost certain that it was Mello. I didn't want you to worry about me. And I didn't know if you'd trust the information had you known it was from him. Hell, I don't even know if _I _trusted it at the time…I'm sorry I lied,"

Alex stayed silent for a moment. "I trust _you_, Matt. If you deemed it truthful enough to report to me, then I'd take it into consideration, regardless of how unreliable the source is. And you should know me well enough to know that I wouldn't put my team's lives into danger. In any case, your pathetic excuse for a lie made it less believable than the fact it came from Mello," he gave a laugh here, cocking his head to the side in an amused demeanor. "But it does bother me that Mello was the one to inform us…I can't help but think that he's up to something of his own. Did he do anything to you?"

"No, I'm okay…Let's head back," My mind was once again occupied with thoughts about Mello. What was going on? Why did he know about Aiber informing us, and Skyer's plan? Why did he help us? _Was_ he helping us? I don't understand…

As if reading my mind, Alex gave me a small smile and patted me on the shoulder. "We'll get some answers when we bring Mello in for questioning,"

* * *

**A/N:** I _really_ dislike this chapter, haha. I'm having a bit of writer's block, and everything I write doesn't feel right...But I've already edited this so much OTL

Alex seems to be appearing a _lot _more than I had intended (whoops), because of the need for a chief to run the operations. He won't show as much in a couple of chapters though!

On a totally irrelevant note, I just got an idea for another MxM AU, and I'm pretty excited for it! I won't be writing it until Agent is done though.


	8. Alibis and Confusion

Chapter 8: Alibis and Confusion

**Mello POV**

_Knock, knock._

"Come in," I called in the direction of the door of my office without looking up from the paperwork that scattered my desk. The state of my desk was usually impeccable, but my bumbling fool of a secretary had dumped files onto it like some cheap, over-garnished garbage truck. Garbage trucks probably had a higher IQ than her. They're probably cleaner too. I'd have her fired, but alas, not many people are willing to be the secretary for an alleged mafia boss.

Said secretary came in, and announced in that whiny voice of hers that I hated, "Mello, two officers are here to see you,"

I glanced up without raising my head, and gave a slight nod. I heard her go back outside and tell the officers "This way, sirs,"

Footsteps announced their arrival before their voices did, and I sat up in a composed position and folded my hands together. I looked up to find tufts of red hair, and a smile found its way onto my face.

Matt's partner regarded me while the redhead himself stayed silent. "Hello, Mr. Keehl. We—"

"Just 'Mello' is fine, thank you," I interrupted, keeping an apathetic voice and expression. Visible annoyance flickered over the man's face, which he quickly covered up.

He nodded and continued. "Mello, we would like you to come with us to provide assistance in solving a case,"

I flashed a smirk at the two cops. "I hope you guys aren't suspecting me of having done anything. I'm a good man, and negative rumors of me going to a police station for questioning wouldn't fare well in the media; you know how reporters are,"

With a barely evident, but definitely existent edge to his voice, Matt spoke for the first time since he entered the office. "We'd just like to see if you have any useful information that could help us capture the culprit of the explosion yesterday; I'm sure you've at least seen the case on the news. And we'll be going back to the station in an ordinary vehicle, not a police car, so reporters won't have anything to say even if they saw," He paused for a second and took the time to scrutinize me. An artful smile, one unfitting for a police man, formed on his face. "Though even if they were to write anything, it shouldn't be too much of a bother if you are an innocent man, Mello. Which, of course, I'm sure you are,"

My own smile grew at the sarcasm that he thickly coated his words with. This game of cat and mouse was quite amusing, with him having to stay polite and professional as an officer. The fact he couldn't blatantly retaliate made my part even more fun to play. "I'm not surprised at the deep thought you've put into this, for the sake of my convenience. I must say that you are a group of very capable officers; I'm glad this city is being protected by such intelligent people…And how should I refer to you, officers? I feel quite rude not speaking with your names in mind,"

The other man introduced himself in four simple syllables, not bothering to elaborate on it with a rank. "Simon Parker,"

"I'm sure you're familiar with it,"

"Well, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Parker. And it's good to see you again, Matthew," I lengthened his name deliberately just to spite him, since he had seemed rather set on being called "Matt". However, he didn't satisfy me with a reaction, and stayed unfazed.

"Likewise," Matt smiled darkly, still using that same tone of voice.

I stood up and straightened my clothes. I walked from behind the desk and extended my arm in an "after you" motion. "Now, without further ado…"

The two cops brought me back to a grand-looking station, and Matt opened my door for me like the way personal drivers did. I got the feeling that others who came to the station, whether under arrest or to 'provide assistance' like I was, didn't receive this type of treatment, and even if they usually did, Matt wouldn't give it to me; this was the continuation of our little game.

I decided to humour him and play along. "Why thank you, Matthew. You are a very kind man," I stepped out of the car and surveyed the area in a slightly exaggerated manner, sort of like they do in the movies. "Your station is quite lovely. You know, this is my first time coming here,"

Matt gave his reply as we began our way into the building. "Really? I wouldn't have thought! You'll just have to come here more often. I'll _personally_ show you around,"

Natural laughter bubbled up at his words, and I looked him over with thoughtful eyes. "I hope you aren't suggesting anything. Like I said, I'm a good man,"

"I _am_ suggesting something; a tour of the facilities…What were you thinking of?"

With lighthearted words holding underlying messages, hidden menace in our voices and exchanges of analyzing stares, our banter continued as they led me down winding halls and past countless doorways. The station was a lot more spacious than I remembered from the last time I came here.

At long last, we arrived in a room with various tables and dividers, where Matt informed me my questioning would take place.

**Matt POV**

My colleague, Simon, and I brought Mello back to headquarters for questioning. Mello seemed to be enjoying himself, dishing out taunts almost constantly, which I happily countered.

"Have a seat," I motioned across the table to Mello as I sat down. Simon sat down beside me.

Getting out a clipboard and pen, Simon began the questioning. "Mello, we would like to know if you were at the location of the explosion yesterday around 5:30PM,"

Mello gave a look of false surprise before replying. "No, I wasn't. Why would you think that I was there?...You don't assume that _I _was the culprit of that, now do you?"

"Of course not," I responded drily. "Our team was at the scene for an arrest, but a man, presumably you, approached me and informed me that it was a trap. Not long after we left the area, it blew up." I examined Mello through scrutinizing eyes, but found not a trace of anything that gave him away.

He leaned in, with his head propped up by his hands, and returned my analyzing gaze. "You say '_presumably_' me…Does that mean that you didn't get a clear enough view of the man to absolutely determine his identity?"

"I could clearly hear his voice, and I'm positive that it was you. The height and build of the man also fit yours. We would appreciate it if you could work with us, Mr. Keehl," A small reaction passed him the moment he heard his name, but it was insignificant and he easily covered it up as if it never happened.

Mello gave a smile and shook his head. "What part of this _isn't _working with you, officers? I came along with you to help with this case even though you only have your personal suspicions of the 'mysterious man' being me, even though you don't have solid evidence to prove it. I'm sorry, Matthew, but I think that you're mistaken. A lot of voices sound the same, so I wouldn't be surprised if you mistook someone else's voice for mine," His smile grew before he continued, in the same faked polite tone. "Though I _am_ flattered that you've taken the time to memorize my voice and physique. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were interested in me,"

Simon replied in my place, irritation growing in his voice. "Don't toy with us. We won't leak to anyone that you were the one to inform us about it, so just tell us,"

Mello sat back in his chair and regarded us with indifference. "Trust me, officers, if I was the one who helped you, I'd be the first to admit it. You'd give me a good citizenship award or something, and everything would be great! But it _really_ wasn't me. I was actually caught speeding downtown by a traffic officer around that time. It's impossible for me to have been _anywhere_ near the area of the explosion when it happened. If you don't believe me, you can check the records,"

I exchanged glances with Simon, and he nodded and left to confirm what Mello just said. Mello cocked his head to the side and smirked at me. "So, Matt, if you're interested in me, just confess. We can work things out and maybe get a date or something,"

"I'd rather not," I wasn't in the mood to play around with him. If what Mello said was true, then he'd have an alibi for not being at the scene. If that were true, then who was it that helped us? Everything about that man reminded me of Mello. Was I just imagining that it was him? Does that mean that I _wanted _it to be Mello? Fuck, what was going on?

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Simon returned with a folder, which he handed to me. I flipped it open impatiently, and froze when I saw the contents. There it was, the copy of the ticket Mello claimed he got yesterday. The location clearly stated that it was issued on Eighth Street, which was miles away from the area of the explosion. The time issued was about ten minutes before the man had contacted me at the scene. There was no possible way that Mello could have driven there in less than ten minutes, breaking all traffic rules or not. That means that the man who helped us wasn't Mello…Then who was it?

"Well, officers?" Mello urged, a look of amusement evident on his face.

I stood up and stuck out my hand to shake, for the sake of courtesy. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Keehl. It seems that there was a confusion. We appreciate the help you've offered to us,"

Mello took my hand with a wide grin and nodded. "No worries. I'm glad to have been able to help out. If you need anything else, feel free to contact me,"

After shaking hands with Simon, Mello left, leaving me and Simon in a cloud of confusion.

"Matt…Are you sure that you didn't hear his voice wrong? It couldn't have been Mello; there's evidence that it wasn't possible,"

I shook my head, biting my lip. "I'm absolutely sure that it was him…"

What the fuck was going on?

* * *

**A/N: **Oh gosh, I'm sorry I took so long to update! I've been in a huge writing slump because of writer's block...Anyways, hope you guys like this chapter (Yes, I'm adding more confusion into this story, hahaha)!

Feedback is super loved; I'd love to hear things you liked and disliked! Thanks for reading, I'll try to update soon!


	9. Author's Note

**Author Note:**

Guys, first of all, I'm super sorry for the delay on updates! I've been super busy with school (I'm an overachiever lol) and I've been harbouring a major writers' block on top of that...Seriously, I've tried writing and rewriting the chapter over five times to no avail.

But enough of the excuses, I just wanted to let you guys know that I am indeed alive, and this story shall indeed go on, just not at this moment. Once I take care of exams (late January), I'll get right on to updating and replying to messages (sorry, I haven't had time to check my inbox, nor reply to any messages)!

With love,

Quinn

(Do you guys even remember this story lmfao)


	10. Saved By A Hare's Breadth

Chapter 9: Saved By A Hare's Breadth

**Matt POV**

"Be careful, guys. Remember, this is recon; don't be seen, don't get caught. We can't have them be aware of us," After our chief gave a quick word, our team set out for our campout.

The questioning with Mello was over a month ago. Just when we thought all trails of this case were lost, a man by the name of Zakk Irius came to the stations sixteen days after and confessed to being the culprit of the explosion. Without a doubt, he's a scapegoat sent by Skyer to shut us up. However, Zakk managed to bring out enough evidence, and the higher-ups decided to take him into custody and put any further investigation of the case on hold. There has been no development with uncovering the identity of the man who informed us about the trap.

With that case on hold, our team has been assigned other cases to follow, such as our current operation. We were reconnoitering Skyer and his men again, under the assumption of an exchange being negotiated. But unlike last time, our sources were from a supposedly trustworthy agent we had inside the mafia, so the risk was significantly lower, though obviously not non-existent. Our commander had also reviewed and approved of the stakeout as well. All precautions had been made, and we were under the order to not reveal ourselves or attack regardless of what activities Skyer did.

We had decided that we were separating into one-man-teams, since it was much less conspicuous than having two men in one area. That, however, made it more difficult for us, since we only had ourselves to rely on if any trouble were to stir up.

Under the shielding of foliage some hundred yards away from the house, I pulled out my binoculars and trained them onto the window. The glass had been shattered and removed long ago, and was now haphazardly boarded shut with rotting scrap wood. In the cracks between, lurking shadows could be seen inside, but it was too dark inside the building to make anything out.

I turned on the night vision function in the binoculars and the world around me lit up in an eerie monochromatic green. After my eyes finished adjusting to the change of vision, my concentration returned to the boarded window. Two men were clear in view—neither were Skyer, I noticed immediately—but the other handful of men remained as ominous shadows. One of the two had an unfamiliar face, someone who hasn't been filed in our records yet. The other had a dark mess of hair and large, unblinking eyes, whom I identified as the head of the mafia that went by BB. His presence made me feel ill at ease, but at the same time, I felt oddly reassured. BB is not a man who'd appear in trivial or false activities of the mafia, so the information we had gotten from the agent is trustable after all. However, this makes me wonder just how large of an exchange we had on our hands for BB himself to have to make an appearance…

A rustle to my left causes to me stiffen, dropping my binoculars to swap for my gun. My heart's pounding a hundred miles an hour, but I've got nowhere to run; I'm trapped like a rabbit in a snare.

…And that's exactly what comes out of the bushes in front of me. The rabbit looks up at me, sniffs its nose hesitantly and hops back into the shrubbery. I let out a soft sigh, only half as loud as I dared, and look around for the whereabouts of my discarded binoculars. Locating them under a bush a bit farther away than I had expected, I began to creep over to retrieve them. Just then, a harsh voice stopped me short.

"Something's in the bushes over there," Silence followed, probably to silently discuss a plan and not alert what or whoever was in the bushes—me. I had stopped breathing somewhere along the way, and I continued to hold it, as if that would make the situation any better.

_Ka-chack._

I could literally feel the blood draining from my face. Endless possibilities to escape ran through my head, but it all seemed vain. Run? Stay? I'd get shot either way. My mind was still flipping an imaginary coin on what course of action to take when another man's voice broke through the silence.

"Are you done fucking around. We don't pay you to take leisure walks and enjoy the wildlife,"

_Mello._

"Sorry, Boss. We saw something moving over here, and…" The first man trailed off as the rabbit that had scared me shitless just a moment ago hopped out curiously and peered at the small gathering of men on the other side of the bushes.

"S-sorry Boss. We'll continue patrolling," a third man nervously stuttered, followed by soft, hurried rustles of footsteps leaving, eager to get away from their boss before he could place a punishment upon them.

_Saved by a hair's—or rather, _hare_, I suppose— breadth. Thank you, Mother Nature and all your wonderful rabbits, I promise to never litter cigarette butts upon your gorgeous green glory ever again._

After a long moment, when the rustling had resided, and I deemed it safe enough, I parted the bush just barely so I could peek through and analyze the situation again. The two underlings had left, but Mello had remained. And he was looking in my direction.

That's when I realized that he knew there was more than just the rabbit that the men found. Then why had he covered for me? I thought that he would approach me once the men were gone, but in the next moment, as if he wasn't conscious of my presence, Mello just turned on his heels and headed off, not taking another glance in my direction.

After fumbling to pull my thoughts together and retrieving my binoculars, I refocused and looked into the window of the house again. Not long after, another form could be seen joining the men from before—Mello.

**Mello POV**

"Good luck, Mello. I'm counting on you," The call ended and I stared hard at my phone with a bitter taste in my mouth.

Like fuck you're counting on me, B. More like _"I'll be watching, Mello, so don't fuck up because I'll kill you in half a heartbeat,"_

I swept my blonde hair out of my face with a distressed hand. BB must have a motive to replace Skyer with me in negotiating the drug deal. It couldn't be that he found out…No, I wouldn't still be here if that were the case. He's testing me to see how well I can handle situations like these without preparation.

_He just wants to test your abilities so he can make better use of you, Mello, relax. This is a good thing, just relax._ I took a deep breath and emptied all traces of panic from my system before they could permanently entwine themselves into my thoughts. I need to make my way to the location of the negotiation; the scheduled time is in a little more than one hour, and BB stressed that the other party of our negotiation, the suppliers, disliked lateness. I made my way to the door of my apartment to depart, but hesitated and changed my mind at the last second, pulling out my cell again to make a quick call.

I arrived at the meeting place BB had told me about with more than enough time to spare. My instinctive safety precautions kicked in and instead of entering the shabby house, I hung around the forest surrounding the abandoned building to survey my surroundings. A vague blur of movement to my right caught my eye, and I silently stalked in the direction it went. After some careful observation, I found a shock of red hair amongst the greenery…Matt? That kid is just everywhere, isn't he.

Preparing to leave him be, I started to turn away, but a sharp "Something's in the bushes over there" froze me. Shit, if the kid gets caught…

I stepped out from my hiding place in the trees behind the two goons that were patrolling the area, and I spat with as much discontent and authority as I could muster, "Are you done fucking around. We don't pay you to take leisure walks and enjoy the wildlife,"

The two men, obviously of low ranking in the mafia hierarchy, stuttered their responses, even calling me "Boss" even though they weren't my own underlings. These imbeciles won't last long in this mafia game. Without much more conviction, the men scurried off to continue their watch. I stole a glance at the still bush, thinking about the person taking refuge behind it. On second thought, I can't just let him go; he's a cop, and we're discussing a drug deal here…But the brief call I made before coming here came into my mind.

"_Don't worry, Mihael, they won't ruin the negotiation. They're to wait for a bigger catch before arresting anyone,"_ You better be fucken right, because I'm dead otherwise.

Pretending that I never saw Matt, and that my intentions were indeed just to get the goons back to work, I turned swiftly around and left for the building.

BB and the supplier were already in the house, and I wondered nervously if I was late in coming.

"Right on time, Mello," BB gave a small smile. I guess that meant that they were just early. "This is Mr. Robinson. Mr. Robinson, this is Mello,"

The man walked forward, and I did the same to shake hands. His hands were icy cold, and I ponder for a brief second if it reflects his cold heart. The sly smile he sported on his otherwise kind-looking face sure did. Robinson really did look like a good guy if you didn't take into account the hard eyes and wicked smile. But I knew by now that looks meant nothing in the mafia; even the kindest looking men would stab you in the back without a second thought—sometimes literally.

We got on to business, settling in old furniture facing each other, and Mr. Robinson discussed with us the pricing of the cocaine he would be supplying us with. This was one of the biggest cocaine deals in the past century (or so BB informed me), with us coming to an agreement of a hundred million dollars in exchange for one metric tonne of top quality cocaine.

This wasn't exactly the size of deal you would push onto a relatively inexperienced boss like me, especially when someone like Skyer could have been in charge instead…What exactly is BB thinking?

Mr. Robinson motioned for one of his followers to bring a sample of the cocaine. A tall man handed me a small Ziploc bag of white powder. Shit, BB expects me to test the quality. I have been taught how to distinguish quality drugs from impure ones, and inevitably, I've done a number of them throughout my seven years in the mafia, but ingesting them still made me uneasy. The looming consequence of addiction is too big of a possibility, and it's a consequence my life can't afford.

But this really isn't a choice, with BB watching over me. I took the bag and dumped its contents onto the dirty coffee table in front of us. Mr. Robinson's helper handed me a razor, which I cut into the powder with a few times before trying it.

Dizziness was inhaled into my brain, along with the cocaine into my lungs. It was a small amount, but it's been a long while since I've touched the substance, and it impacted me hard. I succeeded in keeping myself composed, even though I felt the exact opposite, as I let BB know that it really was the quality Robinson claimed it was. I wiped the stray powder from my nose and sniffed uncomfortably as BB shook hands with the supplier. Robinson shook my hand again, and smiled warmly at both of us.

"Nice doing business with you, I look forward to our future trades as well,"

"As do we," BB smiled back, though much less charmingly.

The supplier and his men left, and BB and I made our way out as well. BB patted me on the back and handed me another bag of cocaine, this one much bigger than the one Robinson had given me.

"You did well, Mello. A token of my appreciation for coming out to help me on such short notice,"

I took the bag and said my thanks, though in reality, I didn't even want to touch the filthy drugs. BB said some other things, but I was still dizzy from the high the cocaine gave me, and only caught on to bits and pieces. I managed to salvage enough information from my disoriented brain to catch on that Robinson would be contacting me on any updates on the deal.

After a brief word of parting, BB left with his men in a limousine, leaving me in my slightly perturbed state at the edge of the forest. I stuffed the bag of cocaine into my jacket and staggered to where I had left my motorbike.

…What am I doing with my life.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey, guys, I've missed you! I'm officially back now! I'll be trying to update as much as possible! :) I'll be replying to messages and reviews sometime soon too (thanks for continuously reading and supporting me, guys! It means a lot that you lovely people always leave me messages! And hello to new readers as well~).

On another note, I've written and rewritten this chapter literally five times, and it still feels so wrong...I'm still trying to recover from a major writer's block, so the writing of this and the upcoming chapters might be kind of shabby for a while...Please bear with me?

Thanks again for reading! I'd love to hear from you guys and see what you guys think of how the story's unfolding, and the writing style, etc, so don't be shy :) 'Til next time! (Which is hopefully soon, I'm in the process of tweaking the next chapter, so it should be up soon...Given that I don't decide to rewrite it, hahaha)

And Happy Birthday, Mattie~


	11. Everything's Wrong

Chapter 10: Everything's Wrong

**Mello POV**

"I _won't_ hesitate to kill you," I growled into one of my subordinates' face, emphasizing each word with a pat on his cheek with the side of my gun. The man trembled, nodding slightly. There was a sheen of cold sweat laminating his face, and I'm quite sure that my gun came away slightly damp. In truth, I wasn't actually that angry about the errors that he had made. Tired and irritated, yes, but not as irritated as I led on. I couldn't let him off without a little intimidation though.

"T-this won't happen next time, B-boss," he stuttered, the look of fear ripe in his deer-in-headlight eyes as he set them on mine.

I figured I had already got the point across, but for reputation's sake, I snapped back, "_Next time?_"

"N-no, I-I meant that there won't be a n-next time, Boss," He seemed to regret saying that the moment the words left his mouth, because they insinuated his death. If he was dead, then there definitely wouldn't be a next time, right?

I don't plan on killing him though, not today, anyways. "Don't disappoint me _again_," I spat as a final warning and released the grip on the front of his shirt. He stumbled back and nodded so frantically that I thought his head might come loose.

Finally finished with business for the day, I was tired as shit and wanted to unwind with some drinks, so I left the base and headed off to the string of bars I was particularly fond of. I can't stand the imbeciles in the mafia anymore; being around them is so exhausting. I suppose they're better than the cold hearted monsters though; at least they don't pose a threat to me, other than ruining shit with their incompetence.

_Luster_ was closed for renovations, so I headed off to one of the other bars in the area. I passed a dimly lit alley and noticed a group of males tugging and messing with a girl. She didn't look the type of girl who'd hang around thugs like them, or even be anywhere near a bar. She wore a modest top that covered everything and shorts that weren't too short. She's pretty too, which I assumed is the reason the guys were messing with her in the first place. There was an air of innocence and feebleness about her; I don't think she could even protect herself from one of them, never mind six. I let out a sigh.

"I don't think she enjoys your company," I interrupted them calmly, stepping under one of the flickering lights in the alleyway.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, faggot?" one of the biggest spat at me, irritated that I had stepped in on their fun.

I didn't bother replying, apathetically shoving my hands in my jacket pocket and approaching them.

The other boys in the group decided that that was a prompt for them to fight and came at me. I never understood hormone-charged teenagers; most of them can't put up a good fight, yet they started them anyways. They were even weaker than I thought, and I singlehandedly—literally—took them out, my other hand still shoved deep in my pocket. A few dislocated limbs later, the brats receded with their tails between their legs. I turned to the frightened looking girl.

"W-what are you going to d-do with me?" she voiced quietly with difficulty, eyes shifting around to look for a route of escape. Her back hit the dead end of the alley, and a look of despair befell her. I could tell she was thinking something along the lines of '_I guess being raped by one is still better than by six…'_

"Go," I replied, leaning against the brick wall of the lane. She gawks at me for a brief moment as the idea of me letting her go sinks in. A look of uncertainty flickers across her features, and she shifts slowly towards the opening to the street, watching me all the while. I give a weary nod towards the street as an encouragement for her to leave. A male's voice calls from the entrance of the alleyway, and the girl perks up, quickening her pace to join her companion, who seemed to have been searching quite a while for her. He takes her hand, pulling her close, and shoots me a cold glare. That was fair; I suppose I don't seem like the good type of guy, which really isn't that far from the truth to be honest. The female gives me a hesitant look of gratitude before leading her partner away. I stay behind in the lane for a short moment, a small smile finding its way onto my face before I move to make my way towards the bar I was heading for.

**Matt POV**

I sauntered down the street, making my way towards the bar the guys had agreed on meeting at for some drinks. The sea of people in the city's night life made me feel uneasy and awkward, so I escaped in a detour down a narrow alley. A young girl's cry cut sharp through the quiet of the back alleys, and I bolted in the direction the cries came from. I could make out a group of young thugs surrounding her in the dim light. I snuck up to get a better view of the situation, hiding behind a tower of empty crates. I was about to make an entrance when someone else did before I could.

A well-known blonde stepped out from the shadows, calling out, "I don't think she enjoys your company," in an indifferent tone. What is he doing?

I carefully observed the situation before me, considering whether or not I should help. I didn't know whose side Mello was on, and I didn't want to make the situation worse for the poor girl, so I stayed behind in the shadows. I'm sure Mello is perfectly fine with handling such situations alone, in any case.

Like I thought, Mello fought the group of young thugs with ease, barely putting in any effort. After a few painful twists of arms—not even punches; that would be a bit of an overkill for dealing with those kids— from the blonde, the boys ran off, indignity heavy in the air.

Now Mello was alone with the teenage girl. If Mello has his own mal-intentions, I'll take him out. I was ready to attack the blonde any second. I mean, he couldn't possibly just want to help the girl, right? Someone like him must have other reasons for giving aid to an unaccompanied girl on the streets. The girl backed up into the wall behind her, and she looked absolutely fear-stricken. I prepared to step out and stop Mello from hurting the female, but he just leaned back and told her to leave.

Both the girl and I were frozen with shock, and after a moment, the girl runs off. Mello simply tiredly smiles a little to himself and turns to leave. I stare after him, confusion hanging over my brain like thunderclouds. Mello really is one of the greatest mysteries of the world…Just what is he after? I wonder for a while if he really isn't a bad person, thinking again about the concern he had shown for me when he thought I had gotten shot for him; about him rescuing me from the mafia lookouts, not even saying anything about it or acting like it ever happened; about the other times that could have been his help, like escaping the explosion trap. But then I remember the rape and all of the disgusting things he had done to me that time. I shook thoughts of him from my head and continued on my way to the bar, not wanting to think about him anymore.

The other guys were there already, and they threw their routine snarky comments about my lateness at me as I plopped down next to them. We played some drinking games, and by the time we started to get more than a little tipsy, Alex pulled out his phone and made an apologetic face towards us.

"Girlfriend calls. I've gotta go, guys. Take care of Matt, alright? We all know he's the worst at holding his alcohol out of all of us," He ruffles my hair in a half-drunken move of affection as he gets up to leave.

I make a face at him while the other members of our group protested about him ditching us for a chick. Joey promises him to take me home, throwing in a lascivious wink for laughs. I smack him playfully as he pulls me mockingly close to him, pretending to kiss me. Simon and the other member of our team, Carter, snicker and make jokes about how Joey should be careful, since I would probably enjoy it too much.

"Fuck you both, homophobes," I laugh, earning another larkish comment about how I'd definitely like to do that. It's common knowledge amongst my friends that I'm homosexual, and they never miss a chance to joke about it with me. We were just comfortable like that.

Another two dozen bottles of beer later, we had lost Carter and Simon somewhere along the way, and it was just Joey and I left.

"I'll…I'll getusa t-taxi, yeah?" he slurred and stumbled off in some direction when I didn't reply, since I was in a worse state than he was.

Some period of time passed, and I came to realize that some stranger was groping me, purring sex into my ears.

**Mello POV**

After a few hours of trying to relax at the bar, I figured it was a good time to leave. I wasn't in the mood to bring someone home tonight, and I was getting bored with the patrons of the bar.

As I was making my way through the crowds of people to the door, I noticed Matt at one of the tables, drunken and being molested by a shady-looking guy. He didn't seem too keen on the other man touching him, so I decided to help the redhead out.

"I think you're done here," I tell the man as I pull Matt into my own arms. He clung to me, less than half conscious and mumbling incomprehensible nothings. The pervert left unwillingly, muttering something about keeping an eye on my 'boyfriend' so he doesn't seduce him. Yeah, Matt _obviously_ seduced him.

"Where do you live, Matt? I'll take you home," I pull him off me a little to get a better look at him. He giggles a little and slurs something before collapsing against me again. Fuck, the idiot was really drunk.

I sigh tiredly and decide to take him back to my apartment. Given that he can stay on my bike…It's times like these that I wish I drove an actual car instead of a motorcycle.

Somehow, we made it back home without him falling off and getting himself killed. I supported him, carrying him to the bedroom as he continued giggling drunkenly.

"You better not puke everywhere, Matthew," I mutter, more to myself than to him. I dropped him off onto my bed, ready to leave to get a towel for him or something, but he pulled my down on top of him. Shit…

**Matt POV**

Someone saved me from whoever was groping me, and I mumbled my drunken thanks to them. I tried to get a better view of them to see who it was, but the world was too busy spinning for me to get a proper look.

My savior said something to me, and it sounded silly in my head, so I gave a small laugh that I couldn't hold back. I slurred something that was supposed to be "You're funny," and trip over my own feet, falling onto the person again.

All of a sudden, it felt like the world was rushing towards me. Am I flying? I think I'm flying. Whoa, I'm a bird. Wait, no, there's motor sounds. Motorcycle? Yes, motorcycle. Maybe the person who helped me is taking me home. Wait, how do they know where I live? Mehh...Just trust them, they saved me, after all.

The person half holds, half carries me into a building, and I squint at the building number. Is this where I live? Probably, I've definitely been here before.

A sensation of falling came over me, and I reached out and grabbed something to stable myself. My hands got hold of a handful of what felt like leather, pulling it down with me. The thing I grabbed fell on top of me with a soft grunt. Oh, it's the other person. Whoops. Never mind that…I fell on something soft anyways. Is it a bed? I'm tired, I hope it's a bed.

Fuck, it's really hot in here. I tugged at my shirt to free myself from it, but ended up getting tangled in it. I made a sound of irritation and the other person helped me take it off. I giggled and mumbled my thanks, starting to work my way out of my pants.

Out of nowhere, my world was suddenly all mouth, teeth and tongue as my companion pulled my into a rough kiss, pushing me down into the mattress. I felt their hands over me, so I did the same to them, clumsily pulling them closer to me as our mouths attacked each other.

I felt long, soft hair brush my face and I opened my eyes for a moment. Are they a girl? Wait, am I straight? It was too dark in the room to make out any of the other person's features, and the world was still spinning too harshly for me to make sense of much. They rubbed up against me, and I felt a bulge pressing into my thigh. Okay, so it's a guy.

He left my mouth a little later, and made his way down my body, kissing and biting random places. He gave my nipples some special attention and I let out a soft moan, gripping at the sheets underneath me. He left my now-erect nipples and moved to my…other erect body part. I moaned slightly as he rubbed me through the thin fabric of my boxers. He didn't wait any longer to pull the shorts down to get at my dick. He took into his mouth only the tip at first, and then the entire thing, slurping up the precum that was spilling from me. The blowjob he gave me was fucking incredible, and I think I pushed him down farther with my hands while I tangled my fingers in his hair. His really, really soft hair…

My attention was brought back to his mouth on my dick when he started sucking harder, and I could tell I was reaching my peak, even in my disoriented state. I came down his throat, and I guess he swallowed, but who knows. I wonder what I taste like.

The oral sex had cleared up my head a little, though not completely. At least my world's spinning had come to a halt. My partner came up again, tugging me into another breathtaking kiss, and I coughed a little when his tongue met mine. So that's what I taste like, huh. Gross. He grinded against me, and I could feel his erection slicking my re-hardening dick with his precum. I don't remember him taking off his pants.

I woke up a little more throughout the kiss, as he grabbed both of our cocks in his hand, pumping them. He pushed me harder into the mattress as he pulled away from my mouth, and I could hear him panting for breath.

"Fuck, Matt…"

I paled as I heard the voice, slow recognition finally falling on my alcohol-soaked brain. My eyes shot open and I pushed him away from me as hard as I could, desperate to get him off of my body, my dick. "What the fuck are you doing, Mello?!"

My eyes were almost fully adjusted to the dark by now, and I could make out his surprised face staring back at me. I felt sick thinking about how he had touched me like that again. "What makes you think you can rape me again? I'm not your fucken sex toy!" I managed to shout without slurring, the alcohol starting to leave my system as adrenaline from my shock replaced it.

"No, I—,"

"You're a fucken sick bastard, Mello," I got out of the bed, shaking slightly as I fumbled in the dark to relocate my clothes. I was still hard, and had to struggle to cram it into my jeans. Fuck.

Still shaking, I left the apartment as fast as I could, still flustered and out of breath. Fuck, why can't he just leave me alone? My back hit the door of his apartment, and I dropped my head into my hands. I could still feel his mouth and hands all over me…Shit, that's really not helping with the tightness in my pants. No, I'm definitely not getting turned on by him. _Fuck _no, it's the alcohol, it has to be the alcohol. Fuck…I hate you, Mello. _I hate you so much_, why do you always have to have fun at my expense?

I hate you.

…Don't I?

Then…

Why do I still want you? What the fuck is _wrong_ with me?

"What the fuck am I doing…" I choked into my palms.

**Mello POV**

I lost it when he started stripping. I had promised myself not to rape anyone ever again, but…How does anyone expect me to resist _that_?!

Matt's face was flushed from the alcohol, and he was half naked (or trying to get half naked, anyways) and moaning. I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking, _No, Mihael, no…Don't do it…_

My will wasn't enough to prevent my boner though. Fuck. I slowly untangled him from his shirt, my conscience still trying to deter me from my sexual desires. It almost succeeded, too—then the drunken redhead took off his pants.

At that point, I just gave up, crashing my lips against his and intruding his mouth with my tongue. I ravaged his mouth as my hands tentatively, guiltily, slid over his lithe body. He responded by groping my back and pulling me closer to him. It's not rape if he wants it, right? Because it certainly seems like he fucken wants it.

He shuddered at my touches, and I just couldn't take it anymore; my erection was fighting so hard against the lacing of leather pants I thought it was going to burst—either the pants or me, I don't know. I left his mouth and moved my mouth and hands over his neck and chest. I sucked on his nipples, flicking the tight buds with my tongue, and he moaned. The sound made me dizzy with lust, and I moved down lower. I felt him through his boxers, rubbing slightly at the tented fabric, and he let out another moan. I tugged off his underwear and took him in my mouth. He was already a little slick from his precum, and I sucked the salty fluid off of him. More moans spilled out of his mouth, and I almost came in my pants. Fuck, he's so sexy…Partway into the blowjob, his hands found their way into my hair and forced my head down deeper onto him, almost choking me. I responded to his roughness by sucking harder on him, eliciting loud moans from him.

I need to get out of my fucken pants, for shit's sake, or I'm going to fucken burst. I pulled at the lacing and managed to remove myself from my pants as I continued to blow Matt. He trembled slightly suddenly, and filled my mouth with his cum while he moaned erotically. I swallowed all of it and moved to put my body on top of his again. Our mouths met in another kiss, and he made a sort of grunt as my tongue slid against his, and I remembered that my mouth was still coated in his seed.

Trying to take his mind off of the bitter taste in our mouths, I ground our crotches together, as he got hard again. There wasn't as much friction as I'd like thanks to my precum, so I took both of us in a hand and pumped us both. Fuck, I can't breathe. I pulled away from his face, gasping for breath, but kept my hand moving on our cocks.

"Fuck, Matt…" I moaned, lightheaded from pleasure. Matt stiffened under me. Shit…I should have stayed quiet.

Matt seemed to sober up at once, realizing that it was me, and shoved me away as hard as he could, screaming, "What the fuck are you doing, Mello?! What makes you think you can rape me again? I'm not your fucken sex toy!"

Fuck…I knew I shouldn't have done this. But it's better that he stopped us here before I actually raped him again, right?

"No, I—," I started, but he interrupted before I could continue. It's better that way, I suppose; what could I have said anyways? 'You were too sexy to leave like that'?

"You're a fucken sick bastard, Mello," He was trembling as he redressed himself and left. I sighed into my hands, still sitting on the bed that smelled like the remainders of the wrong I had done. I felt disgusted with myself, even more so than I had been feeling in the past while. I'm so tired of all of this…Of being Mello.

I stared in the direction of the bedroom door.

…Would he believe me if I told him that I regret it?

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**A/N:** So...I kind of lied when I said that I'd update soon last chapter...Some other stuff came up, and I didn't get the chance to post this until now. I'm really sorry that I'm being so awful with updates. It's just that I can't stand anything I'm writing lately, and I can't come up with a good chapter even though I've got the plot all planned. I keep feeling like the chapters are too choppy and disconnected. In any case, I hope that this chapter's okay.

I may or may not have to time to reply to all my messages any time soon (I'll try to once I have some more time, I swear), but I do read all of them, and I really appreciate them. Thanks for reading, and I hope that I'll manage to update somewhat soon. Love you all!


	12. We All Break Sometimes

Chapter 11: We All Break Sometimes

**Matt POV**

I woke up to the ringtone of my cell. The massive hangover I was having, combined with my shitty mood, made me want to throw the damn thing against a wall. I decided that the momentary satisfaction that would give me wasn't worth buying a new phone and fixing whatever dent I would make in the wall, so I answered the call instead.

"What," my gravel-like voice grated into the phone.

"Matt? Man, you sound like shit," Joey.

I rolled over in my bed and put a hand to my throbbing head. "That's because I feel like shit. Remind me again why I thought it would be a good idea to get drunk?"

He laughed and made a crack response to that before getting serious. "I'm really sorry I left you last night…I was going to get us a taxi, then some random chick dragged me to her place. Did you get home okay?"

My mind replayed the events of last night, and I stayed silent for a moment. It was in no way Joey's fault though, and I have no intention of worrying him with the issue. "Yeah, I dragged myself home. Nothing to worry about,"

Joey let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled a little at his concern for me. "Thank god. I would feel awful if something happened to you because of me. Anyways, you should get some rest, Matt. You really sound like shit,"

Our call ended after brief goodbyes, and I chucked my phone back onto the ground, where it landed safely in a pile of clothes. I flumped back into my bed, but didn't bother to try to fall back asleep. There's too much going through my head to allow that.

Too much about Mello.

After thinking about it the whole night, I've come to the conclusion that I'm part of the problem. In all honesty, if it had been some other random guy that had taken me home, I would have just dismissed the event as a mistake that I made. I was drunk, and I had responded—more than willingly—when he made a move on me. If he hadn't been Mello, I think I would have just let him continue. The problem was that it _was_ Mello.

…Looks like the previous rape had left some subconscious emotional residue inside of me. The rational part of me keeps telling me to stop thinking about what had happened, yet the emotional part of me insists on dwelling on the hatred and anxieties that it had brought. The emotional part of me is also a fucking hypocrite, because the lust it's filling my head with is telling me that sleeping with Mello again wouldn't actually be that bad of an idea. Hate-sex really isn't my thing, emotional self.

Hate-sex.

Do I really hate him that much? I feel like my hatred for him had faltered a little every time we met. Somewhere along the way, the burning hatred I was harbouring for him had dwindled down to near nothing…Just what do I really want?

**Mello POV**

With the notebook tucked safely in my jacket, I made my way up to the address that flashed on my phone. The receptionist desk of the complex was empty, the receptionist more than likely lured away so I could get in without being seen. I presumed that the security cameras were tampered with for the same reason as well.

I checked my phone again, to confirm the floor number to press in the elevator. I rubbed my stinging eyes, leaning back onto the wall of the elevator. My eyelids drooped against my will, and I fought to keep them up. I was so exhausted; I haven't slept since the incident with Matt a few days ago. My mood wasn't exactly the best either, having to drag myself over here so early to meet with _him_. The elevator doors slid open and I turned down the passageway towards the apartment I was headed for.

The door of the apartment was unlocked, so I walked straight in. The man I was meeting was sitting on one of the couches facing the door, sipping from a teacup.

"Get on with it," I said in a way of greeting as I planted myself in a loveseat that faced the one he was sitting in.

"Mihael," His tone was stern and disapproving. I felt slight shock jolt through me, hearing my real name voiced in the first time for weeks. It seemed so out of place and wrong, I was so used to being 'Mello' nowadays.

"Right, manners. I apologize. Force of habit," I muttered uncomfortably. "I don't have much time, can we make this quick?" I actually had the entire day off today, but I didn't want to stay here with him any longer than necessary. I'm scared I'll break down if I do…And taping myself back together would take so painfully long.

The man sighed and put down his cup. "Mihael, we only have a minimal amount of these meetings,"

"It's not safe to stay so long," I mumbled quietly as I pulled out the notebook from inside my jacket and handed it to him without saying anything more.

He took it readily and flipped through a couple pages of it. "You're finished already? Good thing I brought an extra," He flipped through a briefcase to find the new notebook for me.

"…Can…" He looked up at me, and I swallowed hard, trying to free the lump that was forming in my throat. "…Can I stop?" I voiced quietly, despite my attempts to stop myself from saying anything of that nature. I couldn't stand to look him in the eyes, so I looked down at my hands instead. "I don't think I can go on with this anymore…" Maybe…Maybe the answer will be yes this time. Please.

The man stopped his rifling and gave his soft reply. "You know we can't stop right now. I know it's hard, Mihael, but—"

"I just can't take it anymore," I burst out suddenly, noticeable pain and bitterness in my stressed voice. _No, please, no… Don't say anything, please…Just shut up, please…_ I thought to myself, but the words kept tumbling out. "This has been going on for seven fucken years, and in all this time, I haven't gotten one proper night's sleep. Every night, I close my eyes just to see all the people I've killed…I've had to kill innocents—even some of our own, for shit's sake…And all this time, you keep feeding me this fake hope that maybe one day, someday, it'll be over…Do you even remember when we first started this? You said that I'd be doing this for two years at most. It's been _seven_, and you still won't let me stop…I can't do this anymore…I've been wearing this mask for so long, I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm so fucken tired…I can't do this anymore…please…" My voice cracked during the last sentence, and my eyes stung with the first tears I've had in years threatening to fall.

I was as shocked as he was to hear these words fall out of my mouth on their own accord. I've always been so in control of myself, but that control seemed to have deteriorated bit by bit without me noticing. Now all that's left is an empty shell with cracks blanketing it like spider webs, leaking out all of my insecurities and uncertainties.

"…I never said it would be easy, Mihael. I know it's cruel to say this to you, but it wasn't easy in the least for me either. What, with my father being the commander? Do you know how it felt when he found out? For him? For me? I lost my home because I was Kira…I've had to kill as well, Mihael, more than you, even. I had to go through the exact things that you have, and a lot more. This is not an easy task. You're stronger than I was, Mihael. And if I could be Kira, then so can you,"

"Don't lie, you're a lot stronger than I ever will be…I'm not you; I'm not Kira, I'll never be,"

"And that's exactly the way it should stay, Mihael. Do you think I could have made it if I had thought of myself as Kira the whole time? No, the power would have gotten to my head. I only made it through because I kept who I was,"

"That's the exact thing I'm scared I'm going to fail…I'm losing myself. I have to resort to sex just to feel human, and that itself is monstrous. I've even raped someone…"

"It was the only option, don't blame yourself," He countered gently, but still managed to emphasize his words in such a way that intended to coerce me into believing it.

I clenched my fists in anger towards myself, trying to will the tears in my eyes away to no avail. "Stop making excuses for me! We both know that there was an endless amount of possible, humane things I could have done. What happened only happened because I lost control…I can't go on like this…"

I only realized I was shaking when he came over and put a hand on my shoulder. "Mihael…I'm sorry. You know that I care about you, and if I could let you stop, I would. But you know that that's impossible right now, with those criminals still around. Just a little longer, I promise,"

I shook my head, biting back the tears to the best of my abilities, but they fell anyways. My head fell into my hands and I felt unconscious sobs rack my body uncontrollably. I'm so lost…Is this crying stranger Mihael or Mello? Is there even a difference between them anymore?...Who am I really?

The man guided my head to meet his chest, and stroked my hair. I felt like a child who'd just had a nightmare, and he was the parent that tried to comfort me. But unlike children's dreams, I can't wake from my nightmare; it's my reality.

I bit my lip until I drew blood to stop my sobbing. Wiping the tears away angrily with my gun-calloused hands, I pulled away from him. I don't want any sympathy from him, or anybody. Nothing I could do could change the situation I was in anyways.

I forced back my breakdown and vulnerabilities and choked out in a shaky voice as I tried to recompose myself, "I'm sorry, I don't know what the fuck came over me…I know we can't stop. We have to try to get as many criminals off of the streets as possible; I get that…It's just…I'm so terrified that I'm going to lose myself; I'm already noticing that I've changed. I'm so scared that I'm going to let the power get to my head. I…I don't even know if there's really that big of a difference between me and them anymore…I'm just so tired…"

"You're not the same as them; you're doing this for a better world. I believe in you, Mihael, I always have. I trust you to be able to keep yourself together. I promise, one more, okay? After this one, I'll take you off of this. This is the last one, I promise," My conversation partner gave me another pat of failed comfort on my shoulder and handed me the empty notebook. I wonder how many times he's said that it'd be the last time; I wonder how many times it's been a lie, and I had to continue because "complications prevented me from stopping". I wonder why I always still believe him and cling to the miniscule, false hope it gives me.

"Yeah," I sighed and got up to leave, rubbing my sore eyes. I hope they weren't red and puffy. "I've got some business to attend to. I'll see you later, Light,"

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**A/N:** Reviews? :) This is a super important chapter (Mello's part anyways; Matt's part is kind of a filler type thing), and I want to see what you guys get from this, haha. I'll be getting around to reply to messages and reviews soon too, since I should have a little more time soon. Until next time!


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